Lessons for my family: my rant for today

alternate title:
Why can’t anyone else in this family see that the garbage can is full?

1) If you try to put something into the garbage bag/can and it falls right out because there is garbage piled up to the rim, do not ignore your garbage that is now laying on the floor.

2) Similarly, if you try to “make a basket” with some garbage and miss, there is no other person who is going after your missed shot.

3) If the garbage can is filled all the way to the top you may not throw your garbage on the counter, floor, or sink instead.

4) DO take out the old garbage bag and tie it up. AND PUT IN A NEW BAG!

5) If you throw garbage into the empty can because you “can’t find” the bags I will make you wash out the can… with your toothbrush.

6) DO NOT under any circumstances say any of the following:

“But I don’t even use that garbage can.”

“Why should I touch the garbage?”

“I don’t even make any garbage!”

“I didn’t even see it!”

7) DO say:

“Why yes my beautiful mother I will joyfully empty the garbage can.”

“In fact why don’t you make that my daily chore so you never have to get upset again about the overflowing garbage.”

“Oh mother, I took it upon myself to change the garbage bag when I noticed it was on the full side.”

8) If you put something really stinky in the garbage like old food or a dirty diaper, please tie up the bag immediately and bring outside, even if the bag is not filled to it’s breaking point yet.

9) And by outside I mean the garbage can that is outside, not tossed out the back door where animals will come and tear the bags open and spread the contents all over the yard.

14 Responses to “Lessons for my family: my rant for today”

  1. liz Says:

    Amen. And again amen.

  2. Lauren Says:

    Ah, putting in the new bag. That’s where my dear, dear hubby fails. Every time. Grrrr.

  3. owlhaven Says:

    I read this to my family and my 14 year old son said, “Did you write that?”

    “No, ” I said.

    “Are you sure?” Incredulously.

    Hubby then chimed in, “You DIDN’T write it? Because I thought you did.”

    —-

    So. yeah. You are not alone.

    Mary, mom to many

  4. MARY Says:

    sing it sistah!

  5. Valerie Says:

    My husband is guilty of the shove. You know, the shove when he doesn’t want to take it out? Guess who finally takes out the garbage which then weighs about 40 pounds?

  6. Kim Says:

    Wow! I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you. If you don’t mind I might paste that into a memo, print it and pass it out to my family. *smile*

    Kim

  7. Kat Says:

    Taking out the garbage was the first chore that I delegated to my husband. In exchange, I get to clean the bathroom. To be fair, if I see the bin is full, I throw my rubbish in another bin. *g* And I hate to gloat, but I have now also successfully passed on the job of nappy changer. (With my son’s Vegemite addiction, not a moment too soon!)

  8. Brigitte Says:

    Ah yes, “The Shove” - after he’s split several plastic garbage cans with how desperately he executes that maneuver (despite the stinkiness of the contents, to save the big 3 cents or whatever a new bag costs) you’d think he’d learn . . .

  9. CathyC Says:

    I don’t have this problem yet because my oldest is 2, but I absolutely love #5 and #6.

  10. Heather Says:

    HA! I have a 16 year old and an 9 year old. I wish I could say boys get better with age, they dont. They just get better with the excuses, which arent really any more clever, they just think they are. The garbage issue is an issue around here and has been since my 16 year old was about 10. I dont understand WHY they just cant do it without reminders.

  11. Jess Says:

    OMG I could have wrote that post. In fact I was going to on my blog. LOL The only problem with mine is it is aimed at the 35 yr old child I have. He was home a full 2 hours before the rest of us and was unable to smell the foul odor coming from the garbage can. I think he needs to have his senses checked. I asked him how he could not smell that?? It was so bad the wallpaper was starting to peel away from the walls. UGH

  12. peepnroosmom Says:

    Oh my. That’s the way it is at my house at least once a week.
    “Take the garbage out.”
    “OK”
    “All the way out to the can.”
    “OK”
    Half an hour later…
    “Why is there garbage spread all over the front porch?”
    “Oh, I forgot to take it all the way out.”
    “It’s much easier to take it all the way out, than to pick up the little pieces.”

  13. ethan Says:

    lol, when a lad I definately heard that speech/rant many times :-)

  14. Pastormac's Ann Says:

    yes, Yes, YES!

    I couldn’t have said it better myself!