in keeping with the potty theme

If you see your one year old and 3 year old sitting, playing with their tiny tea set, complete with water for tea you have two choices:

1) say “Oh, how cute”

And then go on with your day in blissful ignorance while they happily play and entertain themselves, or

2) say, “Where did you get that water?”

And then freak out when you realize they are drinking water from the toilet. Spoil the fun by taking away the entire tea set and sterilizing it in the sink in hot bleachy water. Strip their toilet watery clothing off. Consider washing out their mouths with soapy rags, but then decide against it and so vow not to kiss them on their mouths for the entire day. Wash the floor where they were sitting as well as the trail of water that leads right back to the bathroom where you spy the toilet brush in the toilet bowl like a huge stirrer, because the toilet did not have enough germs on it’s own. Dry heave a few times. All while the children cry and carry on because the water was “a-whish-ious”

If you are faced with this same scenario, chose option 1. That is my advice for today.

37 Responses to “in keeping with the potty theme”

  1. Brigitte Says:

    I prefer the cover-my-eyes/ears and say “la la la” approach as well.

    Nobody makes me laugh when I’m sitting all by myself (good thing the men in white coats aren’t watching) like you, Chris!

  2. Kelli Says:

    Hee hee, I’ll never forget the first time that happened at our house. My first thought was, “oh, how cute” followed by “wait a minute, you can’t reach any of the sinks in this house” followed by “ew ew ew ew ewwwwww!”

  3. Jennifer Says:

    I accidentely forgot to put a diaper back on my eight month old son one day and when I found him again he had gone #2 and WAS EATING IT! I did not kiss him for maybe three weeks. Most nauseating parenting moment.

  4. Jamie Says:

    My girls like to “play” with the dog’s water bowl. That grosses me out a but bit it’s not as bad as the tea time with the toilet water! At least you have a sense of humor about it…that’s the key to parental sanity, I think! :)

  5. Keri Says:

    *chortling*

    Oh, hi, I’m one of your lurkers coming out of the blogwork. Love your stuff and love your adorable kids! =)

    Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep that in mind when Lochlan is old enough to figure out toilet water is “a-whish-ious.” ;)

  6. Julie Says:

    Ok, so I think I just did a few sympathy dry-heaves. The toilet brush….ew! Reminds me of when my older brother and I were young and thought the toilet plunger’s super suction cup action was so cool and carried it around the house sticking it to the walls and then pulling it back off, hanging on it, etc. There must have been poo-juice rings on every surface of the house by the time mom found us.

  7. Notes from the Trenches » turns out I do have something to write about Says:

    [...] I have somevery helpful time and aggravation saving advice. Posted on August 21, 2006 by Chris @ 1:42 pm   [...]

  8. Debbie Says:

    Oh thank God. I thought the punchline was going to be “…. and you find the water is actually their own urine”.

    Which happens.

    Hey look at the time I really ought to be going now…..

  9. Mir Says:

    I…

    *gag*

    … ummm, it’s just…

    *gag*

    … nevermind….

    *hork*

  10. Daisy Says:

    Oh, my goodness, that’s one of the funniest (and I know, grossest) things I’ve heard in a long time! I hear “experts” say that the bathroom is actually cleaner and more bacteria-free than the kitchen, but I have yet to see any proof.

  11. Angela Says:

    Oh my. NASTY! But so hysterically funny that I too am coming out of lurkdome to dry heave with everyone else.

  12. Izzy Says:

    As the mother of a toddler who LOVES the toilet (for play, not uh…elimination) I must concur. Choice number one will be the real sanity saver.

  13. madre-terra Says:

    Would that same sage advise be to think that the brown goo that is fingered painted on the wall is adorable and creative?
    I had to read this out loud to the fam.

  14. the womom Says:

    oh, ill.

  15. jody2ms Says:

    Blek, blek, blek…gagamaggot.

  16. Susan Says:

    Oh dear god in heaven . . .

  17. InterstellarLass Says:

    HA HA HA! Oh dear goodness! That is so(not) funny!

  18. Gwen Says:

    Oh yes, the ever popular “Princess and the Pee.” ;^) I hope next time they ask you for some sanitary, filtered “a-whish-ious” water for their tea party.

  19. Leah Says:

    Oh, uck!

    But the “a-whish-ious” is just too cute! :)

  20. carrien Says:

    That’s why i rarely drain the water after the bath in the morning. They can wash their own hands after using the toilet mainly. But at least I know that play water isn;t from the toilet. Not that drinking it from the bath would be any less gross but….nevermind.

    I choose ignore it.

  21. T in HD Says:

    Ugh, mental note to self: Don’t read Chris’ blog when you’re eating breakfast!!! But OMG woman, you are a riot. God bless those ankle-biters for giving you so much funny fodder for your blog!

  22. Jennifer Says:

    BWHAHAHA!

    That is so funny! And gross! And funny. And a-whish-ous.

  23. Katie Says:

    “Don’t drink the toilet water” is such a knee jerk response around here. Kinda like “don’t jump on the couch” and “don’t bite your sister.” I’m a terrible mother… hehe

  24. Colleen Says:

    I love how you can take a horrible situation like that and make it sound really really funny! I can totally picture everything that happened. Funny, gross, eww, funny. haha!

  25. Jane-Marie Says:

    You do know that the toilet is probably cleaner than the kitchen sink?

  26. Susan Says:

    Kids have a way of grossing us out down to the CORE, don’t they?

    I’ll never forget the time my then-toddler awakened me at 2:00 a.m. He was chewing on something. And he was very, very cold. I pried the something out of his mouth, only to find something big and brown. And then I realized… OMG, hd had gone out to the backyard via the DOGGY DOOR (in the dead of winter, thank God it’s a California winter - but still!) and was eating a big ol’ piece of *dog poop*.

    I can’t even type that without shuddering, and it’s been 9 years now.

  27. Deb Says:

    What’s even worse is having company, and having the company play along with the tea party and take a little sip of “tea” to be polite…then finding out that the water came from the toilet.

    I never saw a sip of water shoot so fast out of anyone’s mouth.

  28. Anna Says:

    Oh, my… I’ve banned water from our tiny tea sets. I’ll feel smug for a while, knowing that’s I’ve outwitted them….

    And then I’ll come to my senses. LOL!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Brenda Says:

    I take it all back, I do not want to have kids, please take mine away!

  30. Amah Says:

    I was grossed out when I realized my 2 yo twins and 3 yo sister were spitting in the cups and sharing them. Also, they would make countless trips to thier “water cup” and run with a full mouth. I’ve cleaned those toy dishes dozens of times!!! And that was one of the “better finds”.

  31. Stephanie Says:

    I am seriously LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!
    OMG!
    That was sooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Mary Poppins NOT Says:

    I don’t know which was funnier, the post or the comments. Either way I have tears streaming down my cheeks. Thanks for the stress relieving laugh!

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